dilluns, 29 de juliol de 2013

The sun ain't gonna shine anymore - Walker Bros #ForStupidDrivers

Estic dissenyant un cotxe nou. Primer i principal no s'anirà a cap banda si no has posat els cinturons de seguretat o si nota que vas begut o drogat. Despres tindrà un gadget que t'avisarà si passes la velocitat maxim en qualsevol punt de la xarxa viaria. Si no baixes la velocitat imediatament, s'enviarà un avis automatic a la policia i et treuran la multa del compte bancari de manera automatic. Si passa uns moments més sense baixar la velocitat, el cotxe es canviarà de color - fucsia - i sortirà una pantalla dient "Soc idiota".
Si aparques damunt de la vorera o un pas de vianants, tindràs un avis de 10 segons per deixar el cotxe abans que explota i està xuclat dins un forat negre.
Si el conductor gira el cap per a parlar en la gent que este asseguda en la part darrera del cotxe, sortirà un braç de robot i li fotrà una clatellada. Si intenta contestar o usar un telefo movil, sortirà un altre braç de robot, que agafarà el movil i se li ficarà a un part del cos del conductor on el sol no li arriba ....
....
Almost finished my design for a new car. Hopefully it'll be on the market next year. Let's run through a couple of the special aspects of it - firstly, the car will not start up if all the seat belts are not fastened, or if it whiffs the smell of alcohol or drugs on the driver. Secondly I'm installing a gadget which will warn you if, at any time, you're exceeding the speed limit. If this is so, and you don't slow down immediately, a message will be sent to the police and fine withdrawn from your bank account. If you still refuse to slow down, the car will become a bright pink colour and a screen will appear on the roof saying "I'm an idiot".
If you park your car on the pavement or a zebra crossing, you will receive a 10-second countdown to leave the car before it self-destructs and disappears into a black hole.
If you think you, as the driver, have to turn your head round to speak to those in the back seat, a robotic arm will come out and slap you on the back of your head. If you make any attempt to use a mobile telephone, another arm will appear which will then take your phone and place it in a part of your body where the sun don't shine ....

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